Like all good gifts from God, sex can be misused and perverted.

Water is a gift of God, without which we couldn't survive. But floods and tidal waves are water out of control, and the effects are devastating. Fire is an energy-producing gift of God that gives warmth and allows us to cook. But a forest fire or a house burning to the ground or a person engulfed in flames is fire out of control-it is horrible and frightening. Water and fire are good things which, when they occur outside their God-intended boundaries, become bad.
Likewise, God designed sex to exist within certain boundaries. When exercised in line with God's intended purpose, it is beautiful and constructive. When out of control, violating God's intended purpose, it becomes ugly and destructive. Sex is a good thing which, when it occurs outside its God-designed boundaries, becomes bad.
The problem isn't sex—the problem is us. We're sinners who can pervert, abuse, and rip away from their proper place the good things God created. The greater the gift from God, the more power it has both for good and bad. Inside marriage, sex has great power for good. Outside marriage it has equally great power for bad.


  
The boundaries of sex are the boundaries of marriage.
Sex and marriage go together. Sexual union is intended as an expression of a lifelong commitment, a symbol of the spiritual union that exists only within the unconditional commitment of marriage. Apart from marriage, the lasting commitment is absent and the sex act becomes a false expression, a lie.
Every act of sex outside of marriage cheapens both sex and marriage. Sex is a privilege inseparable from the responsibilities of the sacred marriage covenant. To exercise the privilege apart from the responsibility perverts God's intention for sex.
Sex is designed to be the joining of two persons, of two spirits, not just two bodies. Sex should be giving to someone to whom I'm 100% committed (as measured by the state of legal marriage), not taking from someone to whom I'm uncommitted or partially committed.
"But we really love each other" has no bearing on the ethics of sexual intimacy—sex does not become permissible through subjective feelings, but through the objective lifelong commitment of marriage.


Your sexual purity is essential to your walk with God.
Sexual purity is not an option for an obedient Christian, it's a requirement. God's will is centered on our character and moral purity much more than on our circumstances, such as job, housing and schooling. You want to know God's will? You don't have to wonder. Here it is: "It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality" (1 Thessalonians 4:3). There is no sense seeking God's will in other areas when you are choosing to live in sexual impurity in your mind or body.
     "Who may ascend the hill of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place?
     He who has clean hands and a pure heart." (Psalm 24:3-4)
     "If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened." (Psalm 66:18)
     "If anyone turns a deaf ear to the law, even his prayers are detestable." (Proverbs 28:9)
     "'When I called, they did not listen; so when they called, I would not listen,' says the LORD Almighty." (Zechariah 7:13)
Sexual purity is inseparable from a committed Christian life. If you are not living in sexual purity, God will not hear your other prayers until you offer the prayer of confession and repentance and commit yourself to a life of holiness (1 John 1:9)

By Randy Alcorn